I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
