Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
