theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
