I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
