But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
