I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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