I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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