If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize