We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
