Old men and throwing up are my life now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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