Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
