I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize