There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
