Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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