I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
