party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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