after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize