I bet he comes in French.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
