and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this just has baby written all over it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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