Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
