Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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