just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize