11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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