I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
