Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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