I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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