I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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