Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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