he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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