you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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