so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
