I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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