can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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