guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
