I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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