She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
