To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
