is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
bring money and cleavage
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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