So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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