wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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