I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
