I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
