margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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