so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
