This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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