wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
