I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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