go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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