Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
