dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
