so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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