fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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