We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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