everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
