the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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