He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
