He felt like a one man threesome
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
