this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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