I cockslap morals
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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