omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
