we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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