like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
