i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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