She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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