No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
