i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
BRING THE BAGELS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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