How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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