Tell her she can't have a vagina
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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