Dual....:-)
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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