we have officially lost it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
