now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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