do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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