If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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