Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize