so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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