"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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