I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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