but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
